A lot of guys become scared of chicks that model in front of adult cams. They think that since a woman gets naked in front of the camera to entertain an audience from all four corners of the globe, then this automatically means that she is some immoral woman or she is a prostitute at some level or the other.
This is all bullshit. I mean, seriously, because it’s bullshit in the sense that there are many types of women that are attracted to this work. And to label them all as essentially prostitutes or morally suspect really harms both of you.
It’s easy to see how they are harmed, but a lot of guys are completely clueless of the fact that they too, are harmed. Why? If you try to talk to these women and you hang on to those types of stereotypes, you come off as contemptuous. You come off as patronizing. In many cases, you come off as downright insulting. In other words, you let your assumptions get in the middle of your game and you don’t get your game at all.
That’s right, you don’t score. So talk about getting harmed. Talk about screwing yourself up. Do yourself a big favor, let go of that shit. Flush that mental crap down the toilet and start again. Focus on flirting. Flirting is a lot of fun. I mean, Americans have elevated the act of flirting into a high level art, because it really is an art.
When you meet somebody who’s attracted to you, you bounce off certain signals and if you know what you’re doing, you will get her to bounce off certain signals to you, and you create an upward spiral of ever increasing levels of mutual comfort. Now, this can lead to buying her a cup of coffee or this can also lead to her getting down on her knees and sucking your dick. It really depends on how you play the game.
It also depends on how she’s playing the games. There’s a lot of art to it. It’s not a science that you can slice and dice and plug into statistical models, and out comes this nice statistical distribution and all sorts of equations that point to certain mathematically projected outcomes. It doesn’t work that way.
It’s an art. It’s something that takes place in the magic of the moment, among the right people at the right time, producing the right chemistry. If it is an art, then it’s perfectly natural to assume that a lot of people would think that it’s basically impossible. Either it’s basically easy to come up with the defeatist attitude of, it’s either you have it or you don’t. Believe me, I can see how people come to that conclusion but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that hard. Please pay attention to the following.
No woman is immune to flirting
I know that’s kind of a bold statement, but based on my experience, it’s absolutely true. Why? Women are drawn to attention. Women just love attention. In fact, if you’re walking down the street and there are a lot of new guys and you smile in a friendly way and look at a woman with favorable attention in your eyes, again nothing sexual, nothing threatening, she digs it because these guys are paying attention to her.
There’s nothing more gratifying for many women. I’m not saying that all women are like this but a little bit of attention goes a long way because depending on her cultural background, a lot of women are basically trained from the cradle to the grave to basically be in the background. That they really don’t matter all that much. That it’s the guys that are running the show. That it’s the guys that are the center of the stage and hog the spotlight and so on and so forth.
And there are all sorts of reinforcement mechanisms that spell this out in one form or another and a lot of women really take it personally. It basically just warps their ego so they become really thirsty for attention. And flirting is really all about training that attention to produce the right outcome from the object of that attention.
At this level, no woman is immune to flirting. She likes to be flirted with by a guy she’s attracted to, of course. You know, I mean, there might be guys that are not her type who would try to flirt with her and if she would just basically blow it off or ignore them, it wouldn’t matter. However, if it’s a guy that is her type and he is throwing off these flirting signals, she’s not immune to this. There is going to be some sort of reaction there. How do you get the ball rolling?
First thing’s first, don’t be a douchebag
The first thing that you need to do is avoid being a douchebag. How do you do this? Don’t breathe negative shit into the performer that you’re trying to click with, seriously. This chick may be professionally taking off her clothes at adult cams, so what? It’s not your job to judge her.
Everybody’s different. Everybody’s got different paths in life. Just enjoy the moment. Don’t judge her. Don’t breathe shit into what she’s doing because if you have a negative view of her, it’s going to show in how you interact.
And women are also very strong regardless of whatever you think. There will be push backs so flush the bullshit. Don’t come into the game with all sorts of negative assumptions just because this woman earns her money taking off her clothes in front of the camera.
Remember, desperation will kill your game
Any hint of desperation is going to be detected by chick’s you’re trying to impress. I can’t emphasize that enough. If you’ve ever fallen flat on your face when you’re trying to hook up with a hottie, it’s because you got desperate. You said the wrong thing at the wrong time and it produced all the wrong reactions. It’s your fault. It’s all on you. Why? You got desperate.
So take it easy. Assume that you’re just going to have a good time. Assume that you’re not going to score or you’re not desperate to score. Forget about all of that. Just focus on having a good time in the present moment.
In other words, don’t have any expectations. Don’t assume that this hot Russian chick that shows up in this adult cams website every Sunday night will, with enough flirting science or art on your part, will hook up with you. If you set that kind of expectation up, you’re probably going to crash and burn. You’re just making it all that much harder on yourself.
Set the tone right
So the first step in the art of flirting is to get rid of negative assumptions. The next step is to flush away your expectations. The third step is to set the tone right. The right tone is, hey I’m here to have fun, you’re here to have fun, let’s have fun.
Throw a few jokes. Tell some funny stories. The secret here is to understand that women may not have the same sense of humor as you. If you think that The Three Stooges are fucking funny as fuck, it’s not a slam dunk that the chick that you’re talking to would find Larry, Moe, and Curly funny. In fact, she might find them downright annoying.
So you throw out a few jokes because you don’t know if anything would stick. What you’re doing is what Donald Trump calls tapping in negotiations. You throw out stuff out there because when you see a reaction, you know that that’s their weak spot or that’s what they want. That’s what Donald Trump wrote in his book, The Art of the Deal. You might not agree with his politics but he is a negotiation master, and flirting, if anything is really all about negotiation. You’re negotiating using signals. A few jokes can go a long way.
According to behavioral scientists, human beings are more likely to like people who are similar to them. Remember this when you’re with chicks, seriously. If they think that you are like them, they automatically drop some of their guard when it comes to you. No joke. They feel that you get them. They feel that you can see where they’re coming from because there’s something about you that reminds them of themselves.
How do you mimic? Well, you can use the same words that they use but just don’t be obvious about it. You can use some of their gestures, just don’t be obvious about it. You can even use some of their facial expressions if you are doing live cams face to face. Just don’t be obvious about this.
Why shouldn’t you be obvious? You don’t want to come off like yore mocking them. Don’t go overboard. A little bit of mimicking can go a long way. Bait and refer to it. Lure her in by telling some personal stuff but you refer to it like a joke so that way you, can disavow it. You can leave it behind.
But if she bites, she shares personal stuff, start referring to that in a light-hearted way. Don’t dismiss it. Don’t think that it’s a joke and definitely don’t insult her. But when you refer to the things that she said that may lead to some sort of vulnerability on her part, it lets her know that you that you actually can be trusted. This is a great aspect of flirting because flirting really is all about getting the other person to understand that you are in the same emotional space.
Call her to action
This is really important. A lot of guys do a great job with all the other stuff above but they totally blow it when it comes to the most important part. The most important part of course is calling the female to action. If you don’t call her to action, you don’t get her number. If you don’t get her number, you don’t get to have coffee, you don’t get to call each other on the phone, you don’t get to text, and ultimately, you don’t get to score.
So call her to action. This may seem pretty straightforward but a lot of guys are afraid of it. Why? They don’t want to fail. Believe me, I understand but you have to also understand that if you’re not taking action right now and you’re not taking risks, you’re already failing. You’re just fantasizing and fantasizing about all this pussy that you can be getting, all these amazing women that you can be hooking up with, but all that just exist in your head.
You’re failing now because you let your fears get the better of you. So if you’re going to fail, at least fail after having tried.